The Legend of Robinface
1: Rich
Once upon a time there lived a legend of Robinface. He robbed from the rich, poor, and middle class, and gave it all to himself. One day the big fat king, big fat king, was eating fried chicken when Robinface's assistant, Little Johnface jumped in and yelled
“jhhhhhhhhggggggfffffdddddssssssaaaaaaasssssssdfdffffgghbgghghhpoopoo” The big fat king said "WAT THU FOOT ODOR!" In all the commotion, Robinface stole all the king's food, gold, clothes, and money. Robinface and Little Johnface got away.
After 28 hours of stammering later, the knights finally calmed down the king. After they conked the king on the head and woke him up he said "Whatthecrap!" so thay conked him again. He woke up again and said "Crapthewhat!"so they threw him off the tower.
"I HATE YOU DOOOOOODOOOOOO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“jhhhhhhhhggggggfffffdddddssssssaaaaaaasssssssdfdffffgghbgghghhpoopoo” The big fat king said "WAT THU FOOT ODOR!" In all the commotion, Robinface stole all the king's food, gold, clothes, and money. Robinface and Little Johnface got away.
After 28 hours of stammering later, the knights finally calmed down the king. After they conked the king on the head and woke him up he said "Whatthecrap!" so thay conked him again. He woke up again and said "Crapthewhat!"so they threw him off the tower.
"I HATE YOU DOOOOOODOOOOOO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2: Just Talkin
Now that the police had killed the king, Robinface decided to rob from the poor. He said the password to his secret hideout:
RYKFJHSJKMNBHTRSJUT IUYMJMNHJFGMDRSXJK GHUYJKUHUHYUJHYUUJIKKJUHJIKJUIOIJUHYUJIT^Y
Then he started drinking: "HICHICIHICCHHCIIIHHICCHIHHCHVIIHVH." Then he {hiccuped} King Poop XXVII and his army of Toilet paper men. "That {idiot} army always a'fer mi. I'd be {stumped} if he wasn't a {total} fool enough for them to have a duel. The only thing I like about that {idiot} king is his hot daughter.Maid Derizanington, I think. Beautiful. She got nothin’ like her {stupid} father. {CRAAAAAPPP!!!!}
" Duh, how much money we make, Robin?"
"67,000 {stupid} dollars."
"That's an {awesome} amount of haul."
I'd say, ya {dunderhead}!" Then they both passed out.
RYKFJHSJKMNBHTRSJUT IUYMJMNHJFGMDRSXJK GHUYJKUHUHYUJHYUUJIKKJUHJIKJUIOIJUHYUJIT^Y
Then he started drinking: "HICHICIHICCHHCIIIHHICCHIHHCHVIIHVH." Then he {hiccuped} King Poop XXVII and his army of Toilet paper men. "That {idiot} army always a'fer mi. I'd be {stumped} if he wasn't a {total} fool enough for them to have a duel. The only thing I like about that {idiot} king is his hot daughter.Maid Derizanington, I think. Beautiful. She got nothin’ like her {stupid} father. {CRAAAAAPPP!!!!}
" Duh, how much money we make, Robin?"
"67,000 {stupid} dollars."
"That's an {awesome} amount of haul."
I'd say, ya {dunderhead}!" Then they both passed out.
3: Poor
Now that the king was dead, chaos reigned throughout the city. Crimes happened every day, and usually Robin Face, Little Johnface, and The Fat Fracer were behind it. But , one day, Robin Hood came. People lined the streets. Robin would be king! Robin was in a tree. People swarmed around. The Robin Face hit him with an axe and he fell down to the ground. People attacked some kid that had a bow and arrow because they thought he did it. In all the commotion, Robin Hood was awake. But he was trampled by the people trying to kill the person who they thought killed him. Meanwhile, Robin Face picked up his kart of axes and ran off. No one noticed him, in all the chaos, light a piece of wood in the tree that Robin Hood was in and all the people were swarming around, trying to kill the fingerface.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Two hours later, everyone as dead and the city destroyed. But Robin Face had stolen everyone’s valuables in the chaos, so it wasn’t all bad (for Robin Face). In fact it was great! (for Robin). Anyway, Robin Face bought Australia. He built mansions and stuff and was the 3rd richest person in the world. He had a butler. Little Johnface didn’t build Robin the sculpture of himself that he wanted, so Robin demoted him to slave. He had a few slaves, some were kangaroos. Robin had 87 pools, and all of them were full of supermodels. In the end there is a lesson to be learned: Rob from the rich and the poor and the middle class and kill them and you will own a mansion in Australia.
Note: Robbing and Killing will not always get you a mansion in Australia and we do not recommend it.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Two hours later, everyone as dead and the city destroyed. But Robin Face had stolen everyone’s valuables in the chaos, so it wasn’t all bad (for Robin Face). In fact it was great! (for Robin). Anyway, Robin Face bought Australia. He built mansions and stuff and was the 3rd richest person in the world. He had a butler. Little Johnface didn’t build Robin the sculpture of himself that he wanted, so Robin demoted him to slave. He had a few slaves, some were kangaroos. Robin had 87 pools, and all of them were full of supermodels. In the end there is a lesson to be learned: Rob from the rich and the poor and the middle class and kill them and you will own a mansion in Australia.
Note: Robbing and Killing will not always get you a mansion in Australia and we do not recommend it.
4: John Stands Up
One day, when Robin was hanging out with a bunch of rich people, he asked Little Johnface to get him a soda. “No!” said Little Johnface. “I’m not gonna!” But then Robin slapped him on the head and Johnface sighed and said, “Diet or regular?” Just a normal day in the life of rich Robin.
After his hanging out with the rich dudes, he went to his pool with all the supermodels.
THIS PART OF THE BOOK HAS BEEN BANNED AND WILL NOT BE SHOWN.
After his hanging out with the rich dudes, he went to his pool with all the supermodels.
THIS PART OF THE BOOK HAS BEEN BANNED AND WILL NOT BE SHOWN.
5: Canaidia
Robin Face was out in the nightclub drinking a beverage that will not be mentioned in this book, when a mysterious figure approached him.
“You’re Robin Face, eh?” said the fingerface. He was wearing a mask on his head and had a Canadian accent. He wore a shirt with a big picture of Canaidia (Canada) on it and in the middle was a red maple leaf.
“Who wants to know?” asked Robin.
“It is I, Canadia Fadia, eh?”
“I don’t care.”
Then Robin walked off.
“You’re Robin Face, eh?” said the fingerface. He was wearing a mask on his head and had a Canadian accent. He wore a shirt with a big picture of Canaidia (Canada) on it and in the middle was a red maple leaf.
“Who wants to know?” asked Robin.
“It is I, Canadia Fadia, eh?”
“I don’t care.”
Then Robin walked off.
6: It begins
Robin went home to his stupid maids. “Eh, John! Getta me-a sod-a!” “No!” Then he ____ John in ___ _____. Then Robin Face felt a sensation, and he grabbed his harpoon and ran to town. Meanwhile, the Prime Minister of Australia was signing autographs and being a butthead. Robin hijacked a tour bus and drove into Sydney. He ____ everyone on his way to the city, and when he got there, he threw many ______ at the Prime Minister. Then he ____ the Secret Service with his harpoon. He laughed and set fire to Sydney. All of Australia burned up shortly after. Robin took his escape pod and landed in New Zealand. He burned it up. Then he went to Russia and became a Communist.
7: Revenge to the End
Meanwhile, one of the townsfolk had escaped the fire in the Robin Hood thing. He swore his revenge and stole another harpoon. (wuzzup with harpoons?) He took over Canaidia and America. He used their weapons and soldiers to start World War III. Meanwhile, Robin Face became the dictator of Russia and took over China and Japan and made them fight for him. But the good countries realized they had to do something so France, Britain, and Poland attacked Russia. All the soldiers in those three countries were killed. Meanwhile, Robin Face took over most of Europe and Asia, and the townsperson (Let’s call him Zed) took over North and South America. The two evil masterminds kept fighting until all the countries in the world were owned by one of them. Except Lesotho. Nobody wants Lesotho. Then the fighting ceased, except in Africa where both of them owned countries, and the Pacific. One day, Robin assembled all his troops. Everyone who wasn’t a troop was sent to factories to make weapons, etc. He sent 200,000 troops over the sea on a plane, and sent 5 other full planes right behind them. But one of the planes made a wrong move and crashed all the planes, leading to fiery explosions and creating a giant whirlpool in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Robin was not caring. He sent 2 million more over, in 500,000 planes. But Zed was prepared this time. He assembled 6 million troops and set them around different parts of Europe and Asia. The first planes were shot down by cannons and tanks. There were many battleships and submarines stationed across the Pacific and Atlantic. The rest of the planes were easily killed. Robin knew this would happen. It was just a distraction while he put an atomic bomb on the capitol of Zed’s Kingdom. Zed was out getting groceries though, so he didn’t die. If he did die, then there peace around the world. Probably. But too bad. He didn’t die. Live with it. Next, Robin sent a giant ship with thousands of people on it. Stupid idea. It got sunk. Then Zed sent a group of Fighter Jets toward Washington, RB. It destroyed the capitol. Robin was injured badly. He was weak, and a rebel attacked him in the night. Robin killed the rebel. He would not go down easily. Meanwhile, Zed was planning on a huge invasion throughout the Robin Face Kingdom that would use all his soldiers. But just before the invasion started, Zed had a heart attack and died.
It's okay, your favorite legend, Robinface, isn't quite finished, though I cannot guarantee when another chapter of this book will be made.
Bathroom-iac
Chapter 1: The Explanation for this terrible terrible book
Balnia was a fingerface who always had to go to the bathroom. Even though the house had three bathrooms, Balnia had two clones, Balnia 2 and Balnia 3. Since all the bathrooms were always occupied, the family was annoyed, so they built special super secret bathroom that they called the S.S.S.B. so Balnia wouldn't get suspicious. Balnia's son was most annoyed, considering the fact that he invited friends over the most, and Balnia's front door led straight to the bathroom, so did the back door and garage door, where Balnia 2 and 3 are. Now I might as well tell you that Balnia's son, Jek, had a treehouse, which is where they usually hang out in since they can't get inside without the secret entrance password, which changes every single stinkin' day! Well Jek's treehouse had a bathroom that Balnia knew about, but Balnia 4 can't get in the treehouse without the password, which made Jek's sister, Shelly, extremely jelous that he gets his own bathroom, because Balnia 5 snuck into college with her, and is now her roommate.
Chapter 2: What normally goes on
DING- DONG! Went the doorbell at Balnia's house.
"Excuse me! I have a delivery for Jiga, Balnia!"
"Umm, occupied."
"What do you mean, occupied?"
"I'm kind of using it."
"Using what!?"
"HELLO? Front door, bathroom, do I have to draw a picture? I'M USING THE BATHROOM!!!"
"Um........................ 'kay. I have a package for somebody with the name of Balnia."
"That'd be me."
"Okay then, you need your package, right?"
"Just leave it on the front step."
"But you need to sighn for it!"
"Well you'll just have to wait."
"Fine."
THREE HOURS LATER . . .
"Okay, I'm done using the...oh? Where'd he go? Oh well, who cares. I'll just keep going to the bathroom until I go to sleep on the toilet."
"Excuse me! I have a delivery for Jiga, Balnia!"
"Umm, occupied."
"What do you mean, occupied?"
"I'm kind of using it."
"Using what!?"
"HELLO? Front door, bathroom, do I have to draw a picture? I'M USING THE BATHROOM!!!"
"Um........................ 'kay. I have a package for somebody with the name of Balnia."
"That'd be me."
"Okay then, you need your package, right?"
"Just leave it on the front step."
"But you need to sighn for it!"
"Well you'll just have to wait."
"Fine."
THREE HOURS LATER . . .
"Okay, I'm done using the...oh? Where'd he go? Oh well, who cares. I'll just keep going to the bathroom until I go to sleep on the toilet."
Chapter 3: The Big Gig
"Dad?" called Balnia's son, Jek.
"Occu-"
"I KNOW! Listen dad, you know my birthday's comin' up, and..."
"Your birthdays coming up?"
"Well, DUH! Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you'd 'remove your waste' outside."
"I wish I could Jack, but I'm still peeing and a weeing."
"It's Jek."
"Shut your face!"
"All I want is to have a decent birthday party, with no 'let me inside!'s or 'open the freakin' door!'s!"
"Nah, nothin' in life is that simple."
"Errrrrrrrrr....... AAAUUUGGHH!!!"
"Occu-"
"I KNOW! Listen dad, you know my birthday's comin' up, and..."
"Your birthdays coming up?"
"Well, DUH! Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you'd 'remove your waste' outside."
"I wish I could Jack, but I'm still peeing and a weeing."
"It's Jek."
"Shut your face!"
"All I want is to have a decent birthday party, with no 'let me inside!'s or 'open the freakin' door!'s!"
"Nah, nothin' in life is that simple."
"Errrrrrrrrr....... AAAUUUGGHH!!!"
Chapter 4: The Bigger Gig
Balnia wasn't giving up, so Jek invited all of his friends to his tree house. All of Jek's friends that had been invited to his birthday gathered at the club.
"So listen," began Jek,"my dad is still in the bathroom, so we're going to sabotage the house. There will be so much noise, that Balnia will have to come out of the bathroom. That's when we gag him up and throw him on a train. Who's with me?"
"We all are" said everybody simultaneously, which is kind of scary if you ask me.
So they took the secret passage way inside the house. Once in, they made their way over to the garage, where their trunk of things they could smash stuff with lay. Jek got a chainsaw. Jerad got a baseball bat. Jack got a wrecking-ball. Jeff got a four ton mega hammer with super power hedge trimmers (sold separately). Joey got heat vision. And Jeremy got a sack of grenades.
It was finally time to destroy the house.
"So listen," began Jek,"my dad is still in the bathroom, so we're going to sabotage the house. There will be so much noise, that Balnia will have to come out of the bathroom. That's when we gag him up and throw him on a train. Who's with me?"
"We all are" said everybody simultaneously, which is kind of scary if you ask me.
So they took the secret passage way inside the house. Once in, they made their way over to the garage, where their trunk of things they could smash stuff with lay. Jek got a chainsaw. Jerad got a baseball bat. Jack got a wrecking-ball. Jeff got a four ton mega hammer with super power hedge trimmers (sold separately). Joey got heat vision. And Jeremy got a sack of grenades.
It was finally time to destroy the house.
Chapter 5: Everybody Enters Near Death Territory
So instead of taking the secret passage way into the house, Jeremy blew a hole in the side of the house with his gernades. When Jek's mom saw this she screamed "CRAPTHEWHAT?" but Jared took her out with his baseball bat. Suddenly the roof fell down on the whole house after Jack hit it with his wreking ball. Meanwhile outside of the house, Jeff was destroying all the plants with his hedge trimmers, and destroying the chimney with his money back garentee hammer. But the chimney fell down on top of the house, and destroyed the kitchen, where Joey was melting things with his heat vision. Joey got smashed by the falling chimney. The chimney smogged up the whole house, making the fingerfacelets unable to see who they were attacking. Jered slammed into Jeremy with his baseball bat, but Jared threw a grenade at the spot where he had thought the person had hit him with the bat, actually hitting Joey's unconsious body. Meanwhile, Jack's wrecking ball was out of control, as it hit the treehouse, and ran over Jeff, causing it to swerve and collide with the house. The wrecking ball crushed Jek, but his chainsaw went flying in the air and hit Jeremy, which made him drop his sack of grenades. The grenades spilled over to the wrecking ball, blowing it to bits, causing the ball to fly up in the air and land on top of Jared, the only unharmed fingerface. The chainsaw was twirling back and fourth on the floor, which eventually collided with a grenade, right next to Jek's mom, and the entire house blew to bits. The only unharmed parts of the house, were bathrooms 1, 2, and 3.
The survivors
In the hospital, many died. For one, Jek's mom of course died. She was hit by the chainsaw and baseball bat and blown up by a grenade. They found her body underneath the remains of the wrecking ball. Joey definatly died. He crushed by the chimney, then blown up by a grenade. Unfortunately, his heat vision caught the house on fire, burning his body. Jack didn't survive. He destroyed the treehouse, ranover Jeff, collided with the house, and blown up in the air twenty feet away from the house by a grenade. Jeremy was the one who had been cut everywhere by the chainsaw. I'm not going to say the next part, because if your squweemish, you wouldn't want to know. The three survivors were Jek, Jeff, and Jared.Well, mainly Jeff and Jek, because Jared got a brain disorder in his wheelchair, and died by falling out of the hospital window. Jek only ended up in a wheel chair, but he had to stay in it for the rest of his life, because his wounds would never heal. And Jeff was arrested, because he was made responsible for the rest of the deaths. They said that if he'd never knocked down the chimney, than everybody would have survived, even though that's not true. In fact, he got the death sentence, and died in jail. As for the Balnias, they were all arrested at the crime scene.Balnia's roommate was a deranged killer, who killed him. And the other two Balnia's shared the same room, and were released after 14 years in prison.
Epilouge
When Jek grew up, he bought a mansion, made out of pumpkin pie. When he tried to eat a peice, the mansion collapsed on him, and he died of eating too much pumpkin pie to try to save himself.
